Apropos of nothing, Bon Mot CEO Daniela G. shows off her estate sale score: leather jacket $18, cleaning cost $99. Money well spent. *Photo by Author’s son.*

In honor of the upcoming Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop at the end of March, 2026, I’ve brought this thank you letter from Bon Mot out of mothballs, as it still has quite a bit of wear left in it. Enjoy.

Dear Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop (EBWW) 2020:

Thank you inviting us to attend this year’s workshop and for choosing Bon Mot as your Personal Moniker Shopper. We appreciate the opportunity to help you choose the Descriptor that best accentuates your positives.

We spent the weekend browsing the hangers in your word closets in #virtualErma2020 and private facebook group. Using proprietary algorithms, we culled the following affectionate monikers in use by attendees for further analysis:

Ermite

Ermas

Ermazon

Erma Nation

These are all superior to the generic Hey you, Yo gurlfriend, and Ladies! Ladies! However, if there can be only one, let it be Ermazon.

Ermazon, like the little black dress—a genre unto itself—is always the same yet each woman wears it differently. It calls, and EBWWers instantly prick their ears, turn their heads and come to attention. Ermazon is elegant because it is a portmanteau word, a mash up of Erma and Amazons, the fierce female warriors of Greek antiquity. (In our day, Amazon sells our books and sells us books. We are no longer fans, but enough said.) Just like Erma Bombeck herself, Ermazon is classy, amusing, and subversive.

Milking Ermazon yields Erma Zone, which is, of course, any place Ermazons gather together. We note here that our algorithm missed this lovely variation. The dress code in the Erma Zone is casual: antique pajamas, oversized tee shirts, bunny slippers, and tiaras for a touch of glam.

By contrast, Erma Nation is formal wear, for state occasions such as a keynote dinner at the Dayton Marriott: white tablecloths, wine glasses and diet-later cake. It evokes the collective pride that comes from belonging to this specific tribe. Erma Nation rolls easily off the tongue, sonorous and fruity, with droll notes of pomp and circumstance. We’ve noticed the EBWW organizers use this tag frequently when communicating with participants. Carry on.

Ermite is popular in the various feeds, though honestly, we shake our heads. We hear the suffix –mite and see termites, unpleasant creepy-crawlies that live enclosed in muddy towers, exiting only to eat at their favorite restaurants, our homes. Ermite is functional like that polyester tracksuit you bought on sale which never quite fit but you keep using because hey, it’s “still good.” Kill that darling. But if we are anything, we are practical here at Bon Mot, We surrender to the reality that this is unlikely to occur. May we suggest the homonym Ermight instead? It is clever on the page, as it references the writing might of Ermazon. Over time, it might (ha) even cause users to hear Ermight instead of Ermite. Who knows, stranger things have happened.

Ermas calls up ma and mothers and you’d think it would feel as cozy as an old sweatshirt. But it often doesn’t. A lot of people have awful mothers. Not all mothers love their children. Not everyone can be a mother or wants to be a mother. Like work clothes suitable for specific environments, Ermas fits only doting mamas dealing ironically with their rotten children.

In summary, we recommend Ermazon for daily wear, Ermight for grubbies, and Erma Nation for special occasions. In gratitude for making us laugh during #virtualErma2020, Erma Zone is our gift to you. Wear it punnily and in good health.

Thank you for trusting Bon Mot to assist you with your word shopping needs. Refer us to a friend and we’ll cut 10% of your next draft, with a focus on adverbs and adjectives. (Excludes NaNoWriMo drafts. Other restrictions may apply.)

Bon Mot: We’ve Got Your Word Needs Covered

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